Doing Life Together

I like making lists and completing tasks.  I feel a sense of accomplishment when I cross something off of my list.  Matter of fact, sometimes if I do something and it wasn't on my list I might add it so that I can cross it off.  Okay, I don't do that too often.

Life can seem like a bunch of tasks that need to get done so that I can move on to the next task.  This can even include my kids.  First there are the everyday tasks.  Get the kids fed at specific times, drop them off where they need to go, start rest time no later than 1:30, give them a bath, read them stories, get them to bed by 8...  And then there are the bigger tasks.  Get Benaiah to use the potty the entire day without any accidents, help Emerson to work on her attitude, figure out how to stop Benaiah from sucking on his fingers, find a way to help Emerson overcome her fear of spiders so that she can go downstairs by herself...

Sometimes my kids ask to help with my tasks.  My first reaction is that I don't want to spend more time redoing what they "help" me with.  And then I think about how I should be training them to be independent and therefore, I should let them help me so that they can start learning how to do more things on their own. 

Take doing the dishes for instance.

We live in the resident house that is owned by the church.  I really like this house, but there is no dishwasher.  Funny little insert here, right before we moved into the resident house we were staying with friends who put everything in the dishwasher.  I vowed that when we got to our new place I would be putting everything in the dishwasher.  God has a sense of humor.

So all dishes are washed by hand.  I have found that I don't really mind doing this, especially since David does most of the cooking.  The kids like to help me rinse the dishes... aka play in the water.  I try to let them to help me as often as possible.  

The other day Benaiah, who was now shirtless because he was completely soaked, dumped a cup of water outside of the sink.  I began to correct him for what had to have been the eleventy billionth time.  He looked up at me and smiled.  I then thought about how this was much bigger than getting the task completed or helping Benaiah learn how to correctly rinse dishes so he would make a good husband.  We were spending time together.

I want very much to really focus on what is important in each moment.  Yes, tasks are important and they must be done, but do they always have to be done quickly or perfectly?  My children will never think back fondly about the times they correctly rinsed the dishes, but they might remember how mommy laughed instead of corrected them when they scooped “soap ice-cream” out of the sink and onto the front of mommy's shirt.  

This time is going by too quickly for me to care more about my tasks than doing life together with my kids.  How about you?  Are there places where you are missing out on really doing life with others?  Don't just think about how you would like that to change, do something about it today.

Alas, I am a Sheep

I was upset at David the other day.  Honestly, right now I can't even remember what it was about.  Tells you how important it was.

My son woke up at 4 am the next day.  Yes, that said 4.  He had a booger in his nose. Thankfully he went back to sleep.  I on the other hand couldn't.  My mind was up and running.  Part of it thinking about all of the papers I had to grade and planning Emerson's birthday party.  Another part thinking about feeling frustrated with David.  

All of a sudden I started thinking about the 23rd Psalm.  Had to look that up.  I know that the Jesus's prayer in the New Testament has the identifier "The Lord's Prayer" and I thought this prayer had one too. Guess it's just the 23rd Psalm; what a scholar I am!  This rambling actually does have connection to my next thought.  I only remember bits and pieces of the 23rd Psalm.  So in my mind it went....

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want... his rod and his staff they comfort me.   Missing a little bit there, right?  : )

I couldn't stop thinking about the rod and staff and that they comfort.  Upon initial thought, these things seemed more like weapons or something for the shepherd to lean on in the pictures we see of shepherds and not something of comfort.  But that's what it says.  They provide comfort.  They aren't defined as anything else.  

Sheep aren't known for being intelligent creatures.  I googled sheep and also found out that they have an excellent sense of hearing and need help when they role on their back because they can't get up.  More of something I want to laugh at and not something I want to be compared to.  

But when I look at the meaning behind it all, I am a little less offended.  I am definitely limited in my understanding when I am compared to God and I often need a lot of help because I get myself into a position where I can't get "up" by myself.  Alas, I am a sheep.

But sheep have an excellent sense of hearing.  This is important.  I think that God wants us to know that we can hear him.  The problem comes in on our part.  Hearing and listening are two different things.  

So God wants me to focus on (listen to him about) his rod and his staff and how they comfort.  The one thing that I do know about a staff is that a shepherd can use it to gently prod the sheep to go where they need to go and move them from danger.  As I thought more about this I felt like God wanted to move me away from dwelling on my frustration with David.  It really can cause danger to my relationship with David and honestly does me no good to keep moving in that direction.  

There are often times in my life where I sense God gently "prodding" me to go in a different direction.  Some of those moments are even documented here on my blog (e.g. Road Rage).  I want to be better at responding, at listening to him, because the moments when I do are the moments when I have more peace, I respond better to others and I am a better overall person to be around.  

Now, I really want to see a sheep fall over and try to get up...    

Road Rage

Today I was almost run off the road.  No drama present as I write that.

I was driving on a two lane road to pick up Emerson from preschool and, at a light, pulled into the right lane.  The right lane then merges with the left just after you get through the light.  I was driving a normal speed waiting to see where I could fit in.  There was a clear gap between the two vehicles I was driving beside and so I sped up a little to fit in and was merging in when the truck behind me seemed to be closing the gap.  I sped up a little to continue merging and it then became evident that the truck behind me was not going to let me in.  As the two lanes turned to one I was sure that this truck would back off since they were still behind me.  But this truck had a point to prove and I had to swerve off to the side of the rode so that he didn't plow into me.

I was angry!  Why would someone do that?  What makes that person think that it is okay to treat another person like that?  And is it worth it to prove yourself and end up causing an accident?  Having my son in the backseat only fueled my fire.   I wasn't trying to get ahead of anyone or show off the amazing power of my family car.  I was just driving.  

I thought about all the things I would like to say to this man, if I should even call him that.  I also thought about how wonderful it would feel to call the police and have him arrested (like that would really happen, but the thought made me feel good).  I even wrote down his license plate number when I ended up behind him at another red light.

But where did all of this leave me?  Am I a better person because I didn't run him off the road?  How different am I as I plot out my revenge on this other driver?  Not much different at all really.

He wanted to prove himself for whatever reason and now I want to prove myself.  That just turns into a vicious cycle.

So how do I release myself from this cycle?  I could just forget about it and each time I think about it I will be a little less mad than the last time.  But am I really ending the cycle?  When this happens again (we all know that road rage isn't going away) will I once again find myself plotting my revenge?

And what about things that are bigger than being a recipient of some unknown person's road rage?  How do you stop that cycle of anger?

How do you truly forgive?

I felt God ask me to pray for this man.  I was a little resistant at first, but then I did it.  I didn't feel like praying for him, but I acted on what I felt God was calling me to do.

Maybe that is part of what forgiveness looks like.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if when you messed up someone didn't just come at you trying to prove how you had messed up?  But what if they prayed for you and your heart and whatever you were going through that might have led to you messing up?

That sounds like a pretty good world to me.