Doing Life Together

I like making lists and completing tasks.  I feel a sense of accomplishment when I cross something off of my list.  Matter of fact, sometimes if I do something and it wasn't on my list I might add it so that I can cross it off.  Okay, I don't do that too often.

Life can seem like a bunch of tasks that need to get done so that I can move on to the next task.  This can even include my kids.  First there are the everyday tasks.  Get the kids fed at specific times, drop them off where they need to go, start rest time no later than 1:30, give them a bath, read them stories, get them to bed by 8...  And then there are the bigger tasks.  Get Benaiah to use the potty the entire day without any accidents, help Emerson to work on her attitude, figure out how to stop Benaiah from sucking on his fingers, find a way to help Emerson overcome her fear of spiders so that she can go downstairs by herself...

Sometimes my kids ask to help with my tasks.  My first reaction is that I don't want to spend more time redoing what they "help" me with.  And then I think about how I should be training them to be independent and therefore, I should let them help me so that they can start learning how to do more things on their own. 

Take doing the dishes for instance.

We live in the resident house that is owned by the church.  I really like this house, but there is no dishwasher.  Funny little insert here, right before we moved into the resident house we were staying with friends who put everything in the dishwasher.  I vowed that when we got to our new place I would be putting everything in the dishwasher.  God has a sense of humor.

So all dishes are washed by hand.  I have found that I don't really mind doing this, especially since David does most of the cooking.  The kids like to help me rinse the dishes... aka play in the water.  I try to let them to help me as often as possible.  

The other day Benaiah, who was now shirtless because he was completely soaked, dumped a cup of water outside of the sink.  I began to correct him for what had to have been the eleventy billionth time.  He looked up at me and smiled.  I then thought about how this was much bigger than getting the task completed or helping Benaiah learn how to correctly rinse dishes so he would make a good husband.  We were spending time together.

I want very much to really focus on what is important in each moment.  Yes, tasks are important and they must be done, but do they always have to be done quickly or perfectly?  My children will never think back fondly about the times they correctly rinsed the dishes, but they might remember how mommy laughed instead of corrected them when they scooped “soap ice-cream” out of the sink and onto the front of mommy's shirt.  

This time is going by too quickly for me to care more about my tasks than doing life together with my kids.  How about you?  Are there places where you are missing out on really doing life with others?  Don't just think about how you would like that to change, do something about it today.