Struggles Are Opportunities

Benaiah is wrestling with a number of pretty intense fears.

For example, the other day I told Benaiah that he shouldn't play with the buttons on the clock because he could set off the alarm and it would go "Beep! Beep!"  Now I didn't just say it, but I also didn't yell it.  The boy clung to me sobbing, panic in his eyes, telling me to take the clock out of his room.  We sat by the clock and touched the buttons so he could know what they sounded like.  The entire time he was trying to escape from me and the clock.  I left the clock in his room.  For several days he talked about the clock leaving his room but agreed to keep it because the clock tells him when he can get out of bed in the morning.  

Things like this happen on a regular basis.

At first I was a little disappointed that Benaiah has so many fears.  Since the beginning of his life, I have been asking God to make him bold, passionate, and courageous, a risk taker for Him.  Now this seems like a good request.  I want Benaiah to have those characteristics so that he can best serve God.  Why shouldn't my request be answered?  

And then some of my parent pride kicks in and I can feel a little embarrassed when others see how fearful he is.  When I respond out of these feelings, I simply want him to be brave to make me look good.  Way to make it about myself!  

Did anyone ever tell you not to pray for patience?  The reason being if you pray for it you are going to be tested so that you can grow in your ability to be patient.  It is true that to grow we have to work through something.  You don't just grow by being a bump on a log.

I am reconsidering whether God is answering my prayer for Benaiah.  I am beginning to believe that God has allowed Benaiah to struggle with fear to help him grow stronger in his ability to face fear.  If my son has a lot of fears now and we work through them, it makes sense that he will be better prepared to rise above fear in the future.

This is helping me to see that the things our kids struggle with are not meant to pull them down, but to build them up.  It is our job as parents to see the struggles as opportunities and then battle those struggles openly and honestly alongside them.

Got to go, looks like an opportunity is presenting itself...